He has two highchairs – one for eating and another for coloring. He goes to the coloring chair and says “chair,” except that it sounds more like char, and that is how he tells us he wants to draw.

I pick him up, slide him in, give him his 8-pack of washable Crayolas and the backside of a salvaged piece of junkmail. Within a minute, he has tossed each crayon onto the floor, along with the paper, and he is pounding to get out from behind his empty rainbow-scratched tray.

So I let him out and he crouches down to pick up the crayons and carefully, intently, he slots each one back into their box. It is here he will spend many more minutes than he ever spent drawing.

Dylan had a good Christmas. He got more toys than any eighteen month-old child ever needs to have. He got more toys than we even have room for. We didn’t even realize how much Santa bought for him until we saw it all in one room together. Oops. We are told this is a normal mistake for first-time parents to make. And that we will know better the next time around.

One of my favorite parts of Christmas is making and sharing yummy food with people. I make these smoked salmon rolls, that if I might say so myself, are pretty darned yummy! They are always gone within minutes. I like making sandwiches. Sandwiches are good for the soul. You’ve got all of your food groups in one bite. A perfectly balanced meal.

In an alternate universe, I would own a little sandwich shop where I would make big fat sandwiches out of fresh veggies, strange and exotic cheeses, and yummy meats and fish. About 75% vegetarian, but some stuff for the carnivores too. Not diet food, but healthy whole food. A place where people could eat and feel confident that their lunch had no hydrogenated or high fructose anything.

Chipotle hummus and turkey sandwich with smoked Gloucester cheese. There, I have two menu items already.

But when I was in high school, I worked for a woman who owned her own little pizzeria. She worked six days a week, and that is only because her son ran the store every Monday. It’s not easy work, and I’m afraid I am a little bit lazy. However, I would be able to hire some high school kid to do the dishes for me.

Of course, this gets filed along with all the other things I might do when I have my midlife crisis. The bestselling great American novel, the children’s photography studio, the genius invention that makes me a million dollars. Do you see what happens when you get a degree in creative writing? You grow up to be a dreamer.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas. I hope you recycled your boxes and wrapping paper!

It is disturbing to me how he is drawn to these commercials. He doesn’t care about The View that I am watching as I fold the laundry. But when the commercials start, he is drawn to them like a Siren’s song. The volume is louder, the colors are brighter, the music catchier. It freaks me out a little, to be honest. And I wonder what subliminal messages are filling his head – toys made in China, juicy drinks filled with sugar.

The TV is turned to the music channels (which he doesn’t really care about), or off, unless someone is actively watching something. But how do I avoid commercials without turning the TV off every commercial break, which I have actually done a few times. Maybe I am being paranoid, and that it is simply the bright colors and music that he likes, that he is too young for consumerist brainwashing? Or maybe this is where it starts.

Would it be ironic now to mention that his daddy works for an advertising agency? Yeah, I thought so.

I don’t want to discount this movie by lumping it in with the other cheap zombie movies out there. (I’ve probably seen more zombie movies than any girl ever needs to see, thanks to hubby.) I mean this – I am Legend is THE BEST zombie movie you will EVER see.

The abandoned New York City (yes, they destroyed it again!) is fascinating to watch. Apparently they took real shots of the city and digitally removed the people from it.

Will Smith was surprisingly good in it, and as the only character for most of the movie, you’re really forced to notice that wow, the man really can act! Who knew? It’s been a while since I saw a movie where the whole theater was moved to applause at the end. It was that good!

There you go. My movie review in three paragraphs. Go see it! It’s definitely worth your $9.

When there are lights to be turned on!

Yay!

Silly Mommy!

Five days! That is how long Dylan was healthy, and now he has another cold. Snotty nose, cough, sore throat I’m guessing since he wakes up and cries every time he coughs. And next comes the ear infection. I already know it.

This is one of those things no one tells you when you’re pregnant. In the first year of life, the average infant gets sick 8-12 times! In the second year, 6-8 times! (note: these are common illnesses, like colds and flus.) I guess that puts Dylan right on track, unfortunately. We had a good first year – Dylan certainly was not sick 8-12 times, but probably more like two. He was also breastfed last winter. This year, he’s had about three colds in the past three months. That, right there, is your case for extended breastfeeding!

But it is part of the plan. This is how they grow their immune systems. It’s good for them, in the long run (keep telling myself that!). And I cannot even count all the reasons I am looking forward to spring.

The holiday card picture project is turning out to be a huge disaster, and I’m quickly running out of time. This is definitely a two-person job. One person to take the picture, and another to keep Dylan from eating the Christmas tree. Trouble is, my camera takes terrible pictures in low light, or with flash, and we’ve had a shortage of sunny weekend days here lately when I would have Jim to help me.

In other news, my husband has taught my child to say burp after he burps. Men will always be frat-boys at heart.

    

How do you baby-proof a Christmas tree? You stuff it behind a couch and a table, of course! Will it stop him? I don’t know yet. He’s pretty determined. I have a vision of him climbing to the top and trying to eat the star.

My child is 100% BOY. He likes to climb precariously onto his toys and balance there, like circus performers who ride standing on moving horses. He is climbing something every moment he is awake. Oh Good Lord, this will be Dylan in eighteen years, one of those Le Parkour kids who jump across buildings!

And then there’s the vision of him trying to swallow one of those awful metal ornament hooks, so I bought these ribbon hooks, and they loop around and hang the ornament. Much prettier than metal hooks too

Here is the sneaky devil trying to squeeze back between the table and couch to get at the tree, and at some point, giving up, fingers in mouth, to gaze in wonder.

p.s. Please don’t mind the snot on his sleeve and the breakfast on his shirt. I’ve still got a house full of sickies here