I am totally not a book reviewer. Or any sort of media reviewer for that matter, in any capacity.

I’ll be forever haunted by two of my experiences. It was about my junior year of college, and I thought I might explore being a media reviewer. That’s what college is for, trying things, making mistakes, finding out what you might or might not be good at. And for maybe two years, I had a brief stint over at BlogCritics pretending I was indeed a media reviewer.

I won’t link those reviews here. I was twenty-three – nobody should be held accountable for the things they do and say when they’re twenty-three, don’t you think? For crying out loud, I wrote a blog called “Peace and Jellybeans”!!!

And so I wrote this review for a band called Lovedrug, and their album Pretend You’re Alive. They were really a decent band, and the review itself was mostly positive, except for some small critiques that were ungrounded and that I was really not qualified to give. Who the heck was I to think I knew better?

But have you ever heard of them? No? Is it because I wrote that less-than-shining review when I was twenty-three and full of myself and all high on getting free review copies of albums and books?

Lovedrug, if you’re reading, it was a great album. I’m sorry if it’s my fault you aren’t more famous. You should be, because your album was really, really good. My favorite song was “Spiders”. I also loved “Blackout”, “Paper Scars”, and “In Red”. But the whole album is a hit, really.

Kind of like old-school Goo Goo Dolls, don’t you think?

Pretend You’re Alive is here. You should totally buy it.

And from this point on, I’m sticking with what my mother used to tell me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

But then, saying nice things can come back to bite you in the butt too. Also during that beloved time as a media reviewer, I wrote a very positive review for book, The Perfume Factory. It was a charming little book. Both my hubby and I liked it quite a bit. Knock-on effects of that? I guess I did a pretty decent job on the review, because dude pimped it ALL over the place.

So now if you Google my name, you won’t get past the first page without finding my review of that book. And you know, maybe that’s not the first thing I want people to find when they’re searching for me, since I want to be an author myself some time soon.

I guess I didn’t know that when I was twenty-three.

So lesson learned – the internet lasts forever, kids! And the things you put out there when you’re twenty-three will stick around to haunt you forever, even if only on your conscience.

Out hiking in the woods. It’s dark and ominous, about to storm, the kind of day that inspires stories… No, really, we’re a mile from home and about to get rained on.

Chapter 5 continues to be this big fat black hole, where I keep putting things into it, and nothing ever comes out.

Reading my first Janet Fitch (Paint it Black), she’s amazing! Every sentence is so nuanced and alive! Oh, *sigh* I want to write like this!

Bought some fresh, organic, local strawberries today from the farmers’ market, and they came with a fresh, still alive and wiggling worm… Cut your strawberries open before eating, people! You know, unless you like the extra protein… :\

Dylan says, “Mommy, I’m getting bigger. I’m almost a man.”

Dylan, on his bug bite medicine, “Like lotion for vampire bites.” – and it even doubles as a good title for a short story too, lol!

Pilot Speed are my new favorite band of the moment! (Remind me a lot of Radiohead, or Muse) Love, love, LOVE!

Note to self: probably not possible to finish both five novel chapters and six LH updates before this trip, in two weeks, just so you know.

Well, at least I accomplished something before the monkey-child started climbing on me. Maybe more later.

not a musician:

Playing this week, “I Will Follow You Into the Dark,” by Death Cab For Cutie. (listen here, good guitar lesson here.) I’m in love with this song this week. It’s quiet and beautiful, and it inspired a heartbreaking little story idea.

not a film critic:

Into the Wild: Very thoughtful, and inspiring. Now I wanna backpack through Alaska. I know, the book is usually better, but my “to-read” list is a mile long already. Hubby read it and enjoyed it, and was able to point out where the differences were. I’m wondering if the film might have better suited the visuals of an adventure anyway?

I expected to be bored by it, but I absolutely wasn’t. I mean, how interesting can one guy be out in the wilderness? But the point is, he spent much of his journey meeting very interesting people, making these fantastic human connections that he outwardly rejected. He seemed to have such an impact on so many people, and came to an unfortunate conclusion in the end.

I make myself a promise though – when my kid(s) is grown and self-sufficient, I’m totally going to climb a mountain!

progress report, week of 12/7:

Not much bulk added to the novel this week (a few random lines, a couple good paragraphs). Christmas is starting to happen in a consuming way, hubby is sick… it’s just that time of year.

I did manage to send a story back out into the world again this week, and I wish it luck. I hope I’ve taught it all it needs to know, so that it might stand on its own little feet and prosper. Again, I subbed it to one of my top favorite magazines, lol! If it doesn’t work there, I might try my hand at simultaneous submissions next time. And maybe I’ll cast a bit more modestly, lol! You know, reaching for the stars and all

This week: whatever I can manage, considering it’s the week before Christmas and all. I still like the goal of having part one entirely first-drafted before the new year. It’s still doable, I think.

I’m going to share my first chapter with you all after the new year. (Eeek! I said it!) So I hope you’ll hold me to that

First listen to “Mad World” by Michael Andrews and Gary Jules, which just breaks my heart it’s so tragically pretty. (Also a Tears for Fears cover, for the Donnie Darko soundtrack)

And then, a new song by Sarah McLachlan, “U Want Me 2.” Which let me say, besides being a sub-par song for Sarah McLachlan, I just can’t STAND it when people can’t even be bothered to use a three letter word! Come on! I used to think she was a poet or something!!!

Tell me I’m not crazy. Did she totally steal that beginning piano riff??? I hope she got permissions for that, because it sounds identical to me. Anybody else?