be afraid… be very afraid!

A conversation with the real live people in my head.

[Note: If you are not a writer, this post may be disturbing for you. But don’t be alarmed. In some professions, it is quite normal to converse with the voices in your head.]

Danny, to me: What the hell? You haven’t written about us in over two weeks!

Lexi: I know, I was about to win an argument over here.

Me: Sorry guys, things were getting a little juicy over in LH Land.

Danny: Corbin’s nothing special, I can spew out some philosophical bullshit and be all quiet and brooding.

Lexi: He can!

Me: But Daniel, my dear, can you do tai chi shirtless?

Danny: Uhh…

Lexi: Oooh, who’s Corbin?

Me: Eh, don’t worry about him – it’s probably better you two live in different dimensions.

*makes note that Lexi and Corbin should never meet*

Me: So you guys are so hot to get back to work, what do you have for me?

Lexi: Isn’t that your job?

Danny, to me: Do you see what I have to put up with?

Me: Oh, I know it. Don’t forget, I kind of made her. But I gave her nice boobs for you.

*Lexi crosses her arms over her chest*

Me: So Danny, your dad is dead, and your mother is lecturing you about your sister’s religion (or lack thereof).

Danny: Oh, for Christ! Not that part. Still? Haven’t you finished that yet?

Me: Sorry, no. But I’ll try to make it quick and painless.

Lexi: Do I have to be there for that?

Me: No, you’ll be doing laundry.

Lexi: Oh, joy!

Danny: Can we do a sex scene instead?

Me: Maybe later. Okay, back to work you two.